A Funny Thing Happened On the Way from The Restaurant

I was in Manchester last week with my mate Gary visiting a couple of the casinos there whilst also sampling the delights of China town and an “all you can eat buffet” for little more than a tenner. After almost being sick after trying my very first oyster, we headed towards one of the smaller casinos in town (not mentioning it).

Gary wanted to try my methods for beating the automatic shufflers for himself but wanted me to hold his hand (the big girl) whilst he was doing it. After warning him that we both could receive heat because of who I was, this did not seem to put him off.

I sat and watched him from the bar area after he managed to sign me in and he appeared to be doing OK as far as I could tell. Next minute I overhear a conversation between two guys who were obviously duty managers talking about some blackjack player that was acting suspicious and that they were heading to the office to watch through the camera.

“SHIT!….they mean Gary” I thought as this was the only blackjack table in operation at this stage. I had to get over there to warn him and fast. Just then the barman shouts me back to the bar to ask me if I had left my money on the counter. I had only given him a fiver for my drink so I quickly shout “keep it” as I could not afford to be distracted at this stage.

I get across to the blackjack table and subtly whisper to Gary that we need to leave and now. He gets the message and heads for cash desk to cash out his chips. As I am waiting for him, the duty manager and a doorman head across to the blackjack table and start a conversation with one of the other players. It starts to get a little heated and suddenly they are escorting him out of the building.

I don’t believe it, they were not talking about Gary after all but some other dude. Gary was there robbing them blind and they end up escorting somebody else out of the building instead. Just then I overhear another conversation between two cocktail waitresses,

“How jammy is Marcus, this is only his second shift and a punter left him forty quid on the bar as a tip. When he shouted him he just said “keep it”, how lucky is that”.

Wait a minute, they were talking about me. That was it I could not stop laughing. All the way out of the building I was laughing at the top of my voice. Gary asked me what the hell was the matter.

“You are not going to believe it when I tell you but you cost me forty quid”.